Have you ever had to deal with unappreciative clients? It can be really common in some situations. I was witness to this one:

It was near the end of a long, stressful shift. A client got to the registration desk, and blasted the volunteer for the length of time it took to get through the people in line ahead of her.

Fortunately, a supervisor was walking by at the time. Laying a comforting hand on the volunteer’s shoulder, the supervisor explained to the client that the volunteers were all working as quickly as they could, and while she understood that the client was under a lot of stress, to please not take it out on the volunteer.

Sound familiar? Unappreciative clients are hard to deal with.

Unfortunately, other than posting signs asking people to be respectful of the volunteers, and stepping in when a problem occurs, there isn’t much we as leaders can do to instill appreciation – or even courtesy – in unappreciative clients.

And maybe we shouldn’t try.

Let’s face it. The clients are there because something horrible has happened or is happening in their lives, and they may not have the emotional bandwidth to care about anyone other than themselves and their families.

In the situation above, the client was one of close to 1,500 people who were evacuated from their homes at a moment’s notice because of a fast-moving wildfire. She didn’t know whether her house was still standing. Her dog had wandered off just before the evacuation order so she didn’t know whether it was alive or not. She had nothing but her purse and the clothes she was standing in. Her life was in ruins, and she’d had to stand in line two hours before she could even register as an evacuee.

Suddenly a stressful shift sounds pretty minor, doesn’t it?

So, what can we do?

What doesn’t work is becoming resentful, and lecturing unappreciative clients about being nicer. They are already teetering on the edge, and adding more to their emotional load will only make things worse.

The only really useful thing that you can do is encourage the volunteers to not expect appreciation from clients. Help them understand the mental state that the clients are in. Teach them that the value they provide is not measured by thank yous, but by the difference they are making in people’s lives, whether those people recognize it or not.

In other words, intrinsic rather than extrinsic motivation.

I’m not in any way saying volunteers should accept verbal or physical abuse. There is no excuse for that! Just don’t expect clients to be sympathetic and understanding of the volunteer’s situation.

If volunteers can develop this kind of mindset, then the clients that do have the ability to express their appreciation will seem like superstars, rather than just average people. The clients that don’t have that ability won’t be seen as terrible, but as people who need even more care.

Finally, you, as the leader, need to provide the appreciation and understanding that the clients can’t. Ten fold! Because volunteers do need appreciation, and lots of it.

Just not necessarily from the clients they serve.

The client mentioned above lost her home to the fire, but her dog was found and rescued by a neighbour, and her insurance kicked in and allowed her to rebuild.

And the next day, she found the volunteer and apologized for her behaviour.

As leaders of volunteers, it’s up to us to build resilience in our teams to help volunteers deal with situations like unappreciative clients. And to thank them for their service, when the client can’t.